The message yesterday on Matthew 10: 26-33 cut to the quick in a powerful way. It is giving me such hope that I want to share. Jesus is talking to his disciples as he sends them out, like sheep among wolves, expecting persecution.
“So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid of those who kill the body, but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both body and soul in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown before my Father in heaven.”
Wez unpacked it in a very helpful way, looking at the warranted fears Jesus is addressing of slander, violence, and a disinterested, distant God. As to slander, Jesus reminds us that the truth defends itself. In the end God’s reality will clear up anything said against us. As to violence, well, fear of God is the only cure for the fear of man. And then Jesus, I think knowing what a hard thing he is asking of mortal men, reassures us of his presence and care for us with this unbelievable picture of intimacy that no human could attain. Every hair on our head is numbered, not known because God is all powerful, but numbered because he cares to know us so absurdly.
Now i am in no way threatened by persecution and this reality of how far I am from courage pierced my heart. God is showing me how much my fear of man is crippling my ability to share His love in very practical ways. For instance, when I fear rejection from my children I do not discipline them, or pursue them, as love requires. When I fear rejection from my husband I cannot see the ways God desires me to love him. The fear of man is the primary way the enemy puts me in a little box and sits on me, then laughs at how easy it is to take me out.
As soon as I look at Jesus I realize that my sense of entitlement is what’s feeding my fear. If I am entitled to children and a husband who love me as the Bible exhorts them to, then I have much to lose when they don’t. But there is so much freedom in the fact that I am not entitled to anything from sinful man. If they slandered and killed my Lord, why should I expect to be treated so much better? Jesus is spelling it out plainly that if we are really going with him we should expect the worst from other people, but hope in his inconceivable love. The greatest gift we have to offer each other is forgiveness. When we don’t we cut ourselves off from God’s, and here lies something to be afraid of.
I am feeling freer than I have in a very, very long time.
Paola also encouraged me greatly today to be thankful for the space I have to invest in my children right now. They’ve reached an age where I often feel unwanted and in the way, if not completely overwhelmed, because my primary job seems to be expecting better behavior and giving them more responsibility. When things are hard I am tempted to pull back and sulk, or find something other than parenting to make me feel useful, but today I am refreshed and banking on this promise in Galatians 6:9
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Also, here’s a beautiful song we sang that is sinking into my heart: