The past several weeks have been quite a ride, emotionally, but I’m to the point where I think it would be helpful to share what I’ve been learning.

The day Mom and Dad flew home, which was the same day I met Teresa, we got some more bad news from back home in Chris’ department that sent me reeling. I realized that we couldn’t escape the storm of uncertainty, even over here, on the other side of the world. But this time, thanks to the rest I have had over here, I’m learning that I don’t have to fall back into anxiety and depression over the uncertainty. I can take control of my reactions, instead of falling victim to them. Quite honestly, it’s my reactions that I was fearing more than any circumstances.

So, I did what I knew would help, I pressed in to finding friends, here and now. For the past several weeks Twill and I have hardly been home, because we’ve been spending every day out and about with friends. We usually spend a good 2 to 3 days a week with Hiromi and Kuni, going to Play Center, music class, Nature Play, each other’s houses, or parks or beaches together. Thursdays we have Bible Study and spend the rest of the afternoon with Jessica and Mary. And we’ve had a few other play dates with friends from church. If you were to ask my husband and kids they would testify that all this socialization has been so good for me, that I am in a much healthier state of mind. It’s definitely been growing a happier Twill as well.

Still, there’s been a lot of resistance to push through, in both of us. Twill keeps saying he wants to stay home, and there’s been days where I’ve questioned myself, because we’ve been serious home bodies for the past 10 years. I can’t help but think of this song now:

I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger.

One of the things I love about the culture over here is house sharing. Many people we’ve met have a border that rents a room in their house, or host international flatmates. It’s largely because housing costs are so expensive and it helps with that. Whatever the motive, it seems like a very healthy situation for all my friends here who have small children. My good friend, Jessica, says she always likes to keep a border because it helps keep her mood up to have another adult in the house when she’s home with small children. Hiromi enjoys having other adults around who love to play with Kuni. I think it really would have helped my mental health too. But we can’t go backwards, like I tell Twill everyday. He is in that lovely stage of changing his mind every chance he can, and learning that we often can’t undo what’s been done.

So onward! I am very thankful to be on this adventure when our children are old enough that I can jump back into the world with all I’ve got and not sacrifice their sleep. This year is the year that I’m coming out of a solid decade of naps every day. We are all growing a lot socially, partly because it’s time to. And it feels so good to be here, both in this stage in life and in this part of the world. They really do have a slower pace of life over here that leaves more room for relationships.

It’s also partly being a foreigner, out of my element, that’s pushing me to make friends. Hiromi says that she felt very isolated living in Japan as a Japanese person too. Maybe it’s easier on our home to turf to isolate. The leader of Twill’s music class says she was painfully shy as a child, but moving from England to Canada and then to New Zealand grew her, or pushed her, out of it. She acknowledged that when you move with small children you just have to reach out for friendship, you can’t do it alone. It’s so true, and I was very guilty of trying to do too much of it alone back home. Maybe reaching out to help others, but not asking for help enough. Here I have to ask for help, because I don’t know anything!

Anyhow, I haven’t felt this healthy in a long time. I’m so thankful for the chance to be here, learning to receive these friendships, however temporary they might be, as the awesome gift that they are.